Children's Self-Esteem

Self-esteem in young children isn't built by telling them they're wonderful. It grows from repeated experiences of being capable and being accepted.

Let them do the hard part. Zipping a coat, carrying a plate or pouring water takes longer when a child does it, and that extra minute is where the confidence comes from.

Name the effort, not the talent. "You kept trying until it worked" tells a child something they can repeat. "You're so smart" doesn't.

Let feelings exist. A child who hears "you're upset because it broke" learns that emotions are manageable, not shameful.

Keep expectations honest. Tasks slightly above what a child can already do build competence. Tasks far beyond it only teach frustration.

And let them be bored sometimes. Children who figure out what to do next are practising a kind of self-trust that no amount of praise can supply.